Resurging the Heart
by Agnes Acacia
Summary: Rane Sanchez is a member of Dauntless who falls in love with an Erudite. As the events of Divergent unfold, Rane must choose between her faction and her true love. -Parallel story to Divergent, characters include Four, Tris and various other Divergent characters. Rated M for graphic sex scenes
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: Gate Duty**

**I stand at the gate, face tilted toward the sun, relishing the warmth on my face. It is early summer and today is the first real warm day. Even dressed in black, the heat feels good. I am wearing the daunltess signature black jeans, skin tight and stretchy, and snug combat boots that look heavy, but are surprisingly light to run in. I have on a short tank top that barely covers my belly button, leaving a strip of my sun tanned skin bare. Normally I would be wearing my black leather vest, but once the sun came out I discarded it as my sweat began to make my tank top sticky. With my gun slung over my shoulder, I surveyed the land beyond the gate. **

**Not many want this job. It's long hours spent outside, watching for an unknown enemy, (for even the dauntless leaders do not know what is out there, beyond the gate.) Gate guard duty is usually assigned to dauntless who ranked low at initiation. It's seen as a necessary job, but a boring one, meaning those higher up tend to have other positions within the dauntless headquarters. I was ranked fourth in my initiate class, well within the ranks to choose an official job. And for a while, I did. I worked in the control room, among the computers and cameras that kept the compound safe. It was stimulating work, and respected by the leaders. It also meant I got to work one on one with Erudite technicians, which admittedly, was the high point of the job. But after a year working underground, with flashing screens and flouresent light bulbs as poor substitutes for the sun, I decided I was not fit for a life inside. It wasn't that big of a surprise to most people. I transferred from Amity, afterall. **

**I pull my long brown hair up in a ponytail, the back of my neck slick with sweat. I watch as a group of initiates jump off the train ahead and make their way down to the gate. There are so few this year... even less than last year. I wonder if so few people picked dauntless, or how many were already cut. It's a sobering thought, as I flash back to my own initiation class. **

**The one leading the group is Four, and I sigh in relief. I had heard that Eric would be training the initiates this year, and the thought of that monster molding the future dauntless is sickening. Knowing Four is their leader makes me feel better. **

**Four and I became friends about six months ago when I put in my request to be transferred to the gate guards and he took over my position in the control room. He'd worked in a separate cubicle before, and they were moving him up to take my place. I trained him, and he was surprisingly quick to learn everything. Unlike me, I suppose he had computer training before coming to the dauntless. I chose the control room because my instructor, Ram, said I was a fast learner and had a knack for technology. Looking back, I think he played up my strengths because the other person in the running was a twenty something who had worked his way up from being ranked last in his initiate class, and Ram didn't trust him. Regardless, Four learned everything fairly quickly meaning we had a lot of time to kill during the two week period where I was supposed to train him. **

**He stops in front of the group of initiates and gives them a short speech about gate guard duty. When he tells them that there is little room to excel, he's right. My partner today, Angel, is nearing 40 and has been guarding this gate since he was 16. But then, he never had too much ambition. **

**A buzzer sounds and I move to help open the gate as an Amity truck pulls up. I do my best to avoid looking too closely at the Amity that come through. Sometimes I see people I knew as a child and they always assume it's okay to hug me. I know it's general knowledge that the dauntless despise the amity, thinking them weak and annoying, but even though I transferred out of Amity, I can't bring myself to hate them, or their way of life. But that doesn't mean I like it when they throw their arms around me and chatter about my youth... mostly because it fills me with yearning and homesickness. Not that I regret my decision to join the dauntless, I don't. While I respect Amity and their way of life, I felt trapped there. I always felt an energy and a certain rage inside of me that was not tolerated by the amity. **

**After the gates are open the truck pulls through and idles while Angel approaches the driver to fill out the appropriate documents. I let him do it every time because it makes him feel important and official. I couldn't care less about the documents. Rick, Marge, Rim, and Quaggy move to search the truck. I keep watch by the gate with a number of other guards. **

**Four walks toward me and offers me a small grin in greeting. **

** "****New initiates?" I say.**

**Four smirks and raises his eyebrows. "Transfers," he says.**

**I nod, absentmindedly looking them over. "Well I'm glad you got assigned to be their instructor. I had heard that Eric was taking charge of the transfers."**

**Four cringes. "He's...helping," he says. **

**I nod grimly. It makes sense now that I think of it. Four and Eric have always had an uneasy rivalry and once Four volunteered to take over initiate training, it isn't surprising that Eric would insist on being involved. **

** "****How goes the control room?" I ask to change the subject. Eric is never a good topic for any conversation.. "Who's manning the cubicle while you're otherwise occupied?"**

** "****Ram," Four says smirking. **

** "****How is old Ram?" I say. "I haven't talked to him in weeks. Last I heard he-" I am cut off when a blond boy jumps down off the Amity truck and shouts a name at one of the initiates. I wouldn't have noticed except at the sound of the name, Beatrice? Four's head snapped around. I glance over, following his gaze to the blond boy who approaches one of the initiates and hugs her awkwardly.**

** "****Ugh, I hate it when they do that," I say, scowling. The girl is stiff when the boy wraps his arms around her and even though it looks like she discarded her grey clothing, it's easy to see that she's from Abnegation. I glance at Four who is still watching the exchange intently. **

** "****A stiff?" I say, with a raised eyebrow as Four turns back toward me. He shrugs. "Did you know her? Like from before-?" It's not common to get an Abnegation transfer. There aren't many. In fact Four is the only person I know from Abnegation. They are as rare as Amity transfers. **

**Four gives me a hard look, probably habit at having his old faction brought up. But his look softens as he considers who he is talking to. He and I have spent a lot of time talking about our old factions. Like me, he still holds his old faction in high regard. **

** "****No," he says. "Well, not really. I knew of her... Kind of. Her father worked with my own father but we never met." He glances back toward her. "She doesn't know me," he adds. Which I take to mean, she has no idea she is being instructed by a fellow abnegation transfer. Which is just as well, I suppose. If she knew, she would probably expect special treatment or something. It's better for her to feel alone and ostracized. It will make her stronger. I know it worked for me. But watching Four, I can't help but notice the look on his face as he watches the girl talk with the Amity boy. It's not anger, which I could understand considering she is an initiate and should not be talking so openly with someone from another faction. Judging by their familiar talk, the boy is probably another Abnegation transfer. Where Abnegation transfers in the dauntless are uncommon, they are very common in Amity. My own grandmother transferred from Abnegation. Amity offers the same loving and peacefulness that Abnegation life consists of, but with a freer lifestyle that encourages self-love. So this boy is probably someone she knew in Abnegation, and talking to him is definitely forbidden for an initiate. **

**But watching Four, I realize anger is not the emotion darkening his face right now. It's something else. If I didn't know any better, I would think it was longing, or jealousy? I look back at the girl. Putting aside the fact that her face is bruised and swollen, likely proving that she didn't fare well during her first fight, she's not much to look at. Her blond hair looks stringy and is tied back in a classic Abnegation bun that pulls unflatteringly so that you can see strips of scalp through her hair. Her nose is a little too skinny and her eyes too big for her face. Her full eyebrows furrow as she talks to the Amity boy, making her look like a petulant child. In fact, her body is as small as a child of 12, not 16. But there is a fierceness about her that I can't deny. Though I could immediately spot the abnegation on her the moment I saw her, I can see the dauntless too. She definitely belongs here. **

**"****Well," I say, drawing Four's attention back to me, "I would keep an eye on her if I were you. I heard they changed the rules this year...that you have to be ranked in the top ten in order to stay." Four confirms this with a sollum nod. "That's ridiculous if you ask me. But that's Eric for you. Listen, if that girl needs any help, let me know. We have to stick together, you know." Plus, something about that girl makes me wary. She's someone I'd like to keep around. **

**Four gives me one of his rare grins. "Sure," he says. I watch him walk away and approach the girl. Watching them together, I see that there is definitely chemistry going on between them. I can't help but smile. Four needs someone. He spends way too much time alone. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: The Factionless**

**The rest of the day passes uneventfully. I switch gate shifts around 4pm and start factionless patrol. One of the great things about guard duty is being able to see and interact with the factionless. There's a horrible stigma with being factionless, but knowing many of them personally, I know life without a faction isn't exactly horrible. Sure, it's a rough life. A lot of the 16 year olds that go there after failing initiation have to grow up pretty fast in order to survive, but there's a sense of community there that I admire. A lot of dauntless take the opportunity of factionless patrol to exercise dominance and control, which is another reason I volunteered for this job. The last thing these people need is to be pushed around by some asshole dauntless. Though many dauntless are shunned among the factionless community, I've proved many times whose side I'm on and, while I'm not exactly welcome, my presence is tolerated. At least they don't hide their children when I walk by or glare at me with their knives or blunt weapons in hand. **

**Layla approaches me with a smile. There are a few factionless I know by name, usually because I've helped them out in one way or another. Layla is a little older than me, maybe 23 or 24. She just had a baby and she holds it over her shoulder as she approaches me now. On her other shoulder she holds an M16.**

**"****Hello Rane," she says patting the baby on the back. "I've been wanting to talk to you about something."**

**"****Layla..." I groan. "You've got to leave your guns at home next time. You know I'm supposed to confiscate firearms. You are making my job really hard right now." I try to avoid taking firearms from factionless as much as possible. They have a right to protect themselves too. **

**"****Oh," Layla blushes, "I forgot." She unslings the gun. "Ray!" she yells, and a teenager pokes his head out of a an old building. "Come get this!" The boy skips over and grabs the gun. He gives me a lingering smile before returning to the building.**

**Layla turns back to me, her face serious. "Evelyn wants to know if there's any news." **

**I sigh. So Layla was here on Evelyn's bidding. Evelyn is the leader of the factionless...well as far as the factionless have leaders anyway. I've never met her, but for some reason she communicates with me through various members of her group, Layla apparently now one of them. **

**"****I'm still working on it," I say. Evelyn has asked me to contact one of her contacts with Erudite to organize a transfer of medication to the factionless. Factionless get minimal medical care, meaning medicine is very scarce within the communities. Since I used to be in regular contact with Erudite technicians in the control room, Evelyn uses me as a go-between. Most Erudite cannot approach factionless without rousing suspicion. I am supposed to contact this Erudite under the guise of a control room problem, and organize a transfer. This has proved difficult though, considering I am not stationed in the control room any longer. When I suggested she work with Four, Evelyn's minion had fervently told me that was not possible, even after I vouched for Four's credibility. **

**Layla gave me a hard look. "My own sister has the pox," she said. "We really need that medication."**

**"****I know, I know," I say with only a little bit of guilt. It's not as if I haven't tried... It's just, the contact is someone I have a hard time seeing these days. I have to work up the nerve to approach him, and I can't even guarantee he'll even speak to me. Not that I told Layla that. "It's only been three days," I say. "Tell Evelyn she'll have her medicine by the end of the week."**

**Satisfied, Layla smiles again while she pats the baby on the back. "Wanna hold her?" she says suddenly thrusting the baby toward my chest. Sighing, I take the squabbling baby and hold her against my chest. The baby looks up at me with bright blue eyes and a bubbling mouth. **

**"****What's her name again?" I ask. **

**"****Rosie," Layla says. I suppress a shudder. Layla was born factionless, but her mother was Amity and transferred to Erudite but failed initiation. Rosie is a very common Amity name. Amity are very fond of naming each other after flowers and trees. **

**I hand the baby off and continue on my patrol. Nothing of interest happens. Contrary to common belief, there is little violence among the factionless. The weapons they acquire are to protect themselves from the people in factions who want to hurt or exploit the factionless. Layla and others have told me stories about Candor and Dauntless men scouring the area for young girls to rape and hurt. Since factionless are undocumented, a missing one every now and then goes unnoticed. Young attractive women with children carry weapons with them at all times. Most of the time they aren't loaded and are just for show, but I honestly feel better knowing they have some defense.**

**By the time my shift is over and I get back to dauntless headquarters it is time for dinner. I am starving and after loading up my plate I head over to my normal table where Rita and Maya are sitting already. They are arguing about something and when I approach Maya gestures in my direction and shouts, "Hey Rane! tell this idiot that -" I engage in their easy banter and it feels nice after a long day outside to spend the evening with friends. **

**Maya and Rita were in my initiate class. They are both dauntless born and when I first met them, I hated them. They were loud, mean and the first time I fought them, they beat the living hell out of me. That was back when all the initiates were grouped together. After my third fight ended with me bleeding on the floor, Maya and Rita took me under their wing and taught me a lot. I actually ranked higher than them at the end, but I probably would not have survived the first round if they hadn't helped me. We'd been best friends ever since. They both work official jobs and rarely leave the compound. When I told them I was transferring to guard duty, they were scandalized. Both of them grew up thinking guard duty was the lowest of the low. Though they knew me well enough to understand I was getting itchy living underground like this. They blamed it on my Amity-ness and mercilessly called me by my full name for a solid week. I couldn't really blame them though, it was true. **

**Maya has bleach blond hair that she wears long and stick straight with a bright streak of pink over her right eye. She has a hoop in the left nostril of her otherwise beautiful face. Without that hoop you would probably mistake her for an angel. Rita, on the other hand, somehow resembles a hyena. She has wild eyes and her laugh is really more of a snicker. She is a fan of elaborate hair-styles and today she has the sides of her head shaved in a pattern resembling a leopard print, with a black strip of hair down the center that makes her look like a demonic horse. **

**We are eventually joined by Riggon and Cynthia, and then later by Scion and Merrick. The table is pretty lively and I stay there much longer than is probably necessary. But remembering the exchange with Layla today, I decide to check out the control room before heading to bed. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: The Control Room**

**Now that I know Ram is manning my old station, I can always say I'm visiting him if I am questioned. Not that I expect that to happen. I take the long way so I can pass the chasm and watch the rushing water. It's always calms me down for some reason, even though it probably shouldn't. **

**When I reach the control room I'm both disappointed and excited to see Ram there. He is a big man, with shoulder length black hair that frizzes out and stands at odd angles. I've never seen him in anything but a cut off t-shirt with a black leather vest over it. He looks scary, but once you know him, it's pretty obvious he's a big teddy bear. A teddy bear that can kill you with his bare hands, that is. **

**"****Sunflower!" he says when he catches sight of me. I cringe at the sound of my name. Ram is the only one who insists, no matter how much I beg, on calling me by my real name. "What's there to be ashamed of?" he'd always say. He transferred from Candor and is still as loud and brutally honest as ever. I kind of love it. And to be honest, sometimes it's nice to hear my real name.**

**My full name is Sunflower Rainbow Sanchez, a fairly common name in Amity. My mother's name is Morning Star and my father's name is Daydream, though he goes by Day. My older brother, who transferred to Erudite a few years before I turned 16, is named Ashley Tree Sanchez. I hear he goes by Ash these days. My best friends growing up are named Blueberry, Dewdrop and Peony. In Amity my name was the most normal thing about me. In dauntless, it is hilarious. It's just easier to go by Rane.**

**"****I'm glad you're here," Ram says when I walk in. "I need to check on a few things downstairs. Would you mind watching that monitor?" He points to a blank screen toward the right hand side on the panel. "Yell if it flickers or turns back on. Hopefully it's just a problem with the wiring." **

**I nod and Ram descends the short staircase to the jumble of wires and cords that power the control room. I watch the screen waiting for something to happen. After about 15 minutes, I call down to Ram. "Nothing's happening!"**

**"****Come down here a minute," I hear Ram call back. When I walk down I find his large body lying awkwardly under a circuit board the size of a small elephant. "I can't seem to get this right," he says. "Wanna give it a shot?"**

**"****Sure," I say crouching in the space after he moves. I survey the circuit board looking for something amiss. I thought about trying to recall the scientific names for the technical parts of the board, something the Erudite technicians were constantly trying to make me learn. But I'd learned how these things worked by trial and error, meaning I made things up on my own along the way. I was given a quick training session by Ram when I first started working in the control room, but he was confident that I would "figure it out" and he basically left me alone. So I came up with my own language for the circuit boards and wiring involved in making the whole thing tick. I also came up with my own repair methods. I'll never forget the look on Lars's face whenever he came across two wires being held together by chewed gum. **

**I poke around under than panel and twist and pull a few wires. "Anything?" I call up to Ram who has taken my spot in front of the monitor. **

** "****No," he calls back down. I grumble as I begin pulling out random wires from the circuit board and checking to see if they are all connected together accordingly. Everything looks good until I find a wire tip that is loose in its whole. I call up to Ram to bring me a soldering iron. After fixing the loose wire, I start going through and tightening other wires as Ram watches the screen. I keep at it for about an hour before Ram says there is a flickering. I go back to the wire I was messing with and find that while its placed in the circuit correctly, it looks like the board itself is fried. The entire section of the board will need replaced, which means we will have to call the Erudite technicians. While my initial reaction is dread, knowing that Lars will most likely be the one sent, I then realize that this is the perfect opportunity to talk to him about the factionless medicine transfer. **

** "****Yo Ram," I call. "We are gonna have to call Erudite. The board needs replaced."**

** "****I was afraid of that," he sighs. I pull myself out from underneath the circuit and climb back up to the cubicle. Ram is checking his watch and yawning. "It's almost 10:00. Lars is not gonna be happy to be called out this late."**

** "****Who's your replacement for the night?" I ask. Ram just looks at me. "Oh no," I say. "Don't tell me you are pulling double shifts to cover for Four." In response Ram lets out a big yawn. "Go get some sleep Ram. I will call Lars and get this all taken care of and when you come back in the morning, everything will be fixed."**

**Ram gives me a grateful look. "I just need a few hours. This initiate training is wearing on all of us. I'll be glad when that two weeks is up."**

**Thinking of Four, and the way he watched that little Stiff, I can't help but nod in agreement. When Ram leaves I sit at the desk and take a few deep breaths. Calling Lars is just about the last thing in the world I want to do. Things didn't end well between us, and I haven't seen or spoken to him since that night. **

**Erudite technicians are always popping in and out of the control room. They are trained specifically in surveillance technology and since Dauntless headquarters has the largest surveillance system, the Erudites have to help keep things up and running. It was about two months after I started working in the control room that I met Lars. Up until that point I had basically been figuring things out on my own and making small repairs to keep the thing working. Once every six months a technician has to review each cubicle to make sure that everything is up to speed. Lars was assigned my cubicle and after a quick scan he found a small glitch in the system, meaning he had to go rewire a few things. I wanted to learn more about the job, so I went with him down to the circuit motherboard. He talked me through a few things and I did my best to pay attention, but most of the time I just watched his face and hands as he worked. He was incredibly attractive. Tan skin, blue eyes, sandy blond hair. He wore black glasses that only seemed to make him sexier, and the blues of his clothing brought out his eyes in such an astonishing way. As an enamored 16 year old, I was completely smitten. **

**But he was quite a bit older than me, 5 years to be exact, and it was pretty frowned upon to have relations with anyone outside of your faction. So I kept the crush to myself. He was cute, yes. But he was a nice fantasy to have. However, after a few years, and I became more sexually promiscuous, he became less of a fantasy and more of a goal. In Dauntless, much like Amity, sex is not exactly frowned upon. In Amity I was always taught the virtues of free love. While marriage is common there, monogamy is not. Sex is seen as a way of self-expression and joy and is not denied or seen as sinful. In Dauntless, inhibitions are thrown to the wind, and people generally use a 'if it feels good, do it' attitude. With those two ideals to guide me, I was getting around. By the time I was 19, Lars was growing into an obsession of mine. And I knew the best way to put the obsession to rest was to seduce him. Which of course was fairly easy, given that I was attractive and young and we had a lot of options for alone time and privacy. **

**By this time, we had gained an easy friendship that was littered with sexual tension. I often teased him by leaning over him and suggestively brushing against him. At first he seemed a bit uptight about it, but eventually the flirting started going both ways. His sly winks and small smiles became an invitation that I could no longer deny. One evening I called him to the control room and took him down to the basement of my cubicle. The first time was short, for both of us, but was exciting and delicious that we did it twice more before he left. It then became a bit of an affair. He'd come by every two weeks or so to check on some non-existent problem, and we'd disappear into the basement for a while. This went on for about a year. And during that time I found myself feeling more for him than just lust and I could see in his eyes that he felt the same. **

**Then one night about six months ago he told me he loved me. He said that it didn't matter that we were in different factions. He would find a way for us to be together, that we could be factionless if we had to. And this scared me. A lot. If I was caught with him, I would just get a slap on the wrist. Dauntless frown upon relationships with other factions, but a sexual relationship would be viewed as simply that: sexual. It would never cross the mind of a Dauntless leader to assume that there was love between two factions. I would probably get extra cleaning duties or a week of double shifts, but that would be it. But in the Erudite, they take things much more seriously. If they found out, Lars could lose his position, his rank within the compound. If they found out he loved me, well, they would expel him from the faction. He would be factionless. Which is what he wanted. And he wanted me to be factionless too. And this was utterly terrifying to me. I worked way too hard to be accepted into Dauntless that the idea of leaving was too much. **

**So I laughed at him. I told him that I didn't love him and that he didn't love me. That he was stupid for thinking so. We argued about it and it ended with tears for both of us. He left and the next day I put in for the transfer. The worst part about everything is that I know that I love him too. That if I had it my way, I would be with him every single moment of the day. But if this continued, we would be caught or if we continued to keep everything a secret we would constantly be unsatisfied with our lives. So in that split moment, I decided. For both of us. **

**I haven't talked to him since. **

**And now, here I am, staring at the phone, knowing I have to call him. I'm not sure how he got involved with helping the factionless, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he started scoping out the factionless whenever he decided he loved me and toyed with the idea of being factionless together. I take a deep breath and lift the phone. I dial out to the Erudite headquarters and then am dispatched to the technician department. Since it is so late, I doubt he is there, and sure enough when I ask for him, the head of the department says he is out. I ask for his private extension and the technician connects me to his personal quarters. I hold my breath as the phone rings. Finally he picks up. **

**"****Lars Valentine," he says in greeting.**

**"****Lars, its me," I say. There is silence on the other end and I think he might have hung up. **

**"****What is it, Rane? Why are you calling?" I can hear his voice is strained with carefully controlled anger. There was so much left between us unsaid.**

**"****It's the circuit," I say. "I think the J cue needs to be replaced. None of the wires are holding anymore."**

**"****I thought you weren't working control anymore," is his response. **

**"****I'm filling in for initiation."**

**There is a brief pause on the other end where I assume Lars is thinking this over. I can picture him, chewing his lip, his brow furrowed in thought. **

**"****I'll send T-bo," he says.**

**"****Lars-" I am careful what I say. The phones are tapped, so I can't give anything away about the factionless mission. "I think this problem can only be handled by you." **

**"****Rane, listen, it's late. I've got to be up early. T-bo is working the late shift. I'll send him instead." **

**"****Lars," I say, hardening my voice. "I. need. you. The circuit is fried. It's full of ****_pox_****marks and the soldering iron can't close them." I am speaking nonsense of course. There is no such thing as poxmarks on a circuit, but I am hoping he catches on the meaning, or is just curious enough to come see what I mean. Thankfully I hear him grunt in acquiescence. **

**"****I will be there in 20 minutes," he says, and hangs up. **

**I pass the time waiting for him by watching the monitors. It's nearing 11:00 and not much is happening. Most people are in bed. I peek around to see who else is working the late shift. The usual mostly. Cray, Morgan, Ryan, and several others. None of them are my friends, as most are a bit older. The control room late shift is usually reserved for people nearing the end of their prime. I see many of them nodding off. Cray is actually reading a book and another woman is flipping through a magazine. I glance back at the monitors. My cubicle covers the east wing 3rd floor of the compound, which includes the training rooms, gyms, and sleeping quarters. I watch the screen. The cameras are equipped with night vision, meaning you can make out everything in the dark. I search the initiate dorm room for the little Abnegation girl and find her sleeping hard on the cot. She looks exhausted, but then, so does everyone else. Suddenly the light in the room snaps on and in walks a crowd of people. Looking closely I recognize Eric and Four, Shauna, Micky. Rita and Maya are there too, with Link and Hem. It looks like the annual capture the flag event and I am immediately filled with regret that I'm missing it. I notice Four watching the girl again and my stomach churns. He's got it bad. It just reminds me of my own predicament. **

**Exactly 20 minutes after he hangs up, Lars arrives. Despite the late hour, he looks clean and fit. After being outside all day, I know I probably look less than fresh. My arms and face are flushed red from the sun and my hair has been in a messy ponytail all day. But in spite of all that, I watch as Lars's eyes rake my body, drinking in my appearance. It's been a long time since I've seen him. **

**I stand up awkwardly when he comes in. "Hi," I say, breathless. He just looks at me before heading to the stairs leading down to the circuit. I follow him down and soon enough we are alone. Lars begins working on the J cue, replacing the board and inserting the wires, first clipping them and stripping off the protective covering at the tips. He does everything with smooth efficiency and I feel myself slipping into nostalgia. When he is finished he looks at me expectantly. **

**"****Evelyn told me to contact you about the medications for the pox that's infecting the factionless," I say without preamble.**

**Lars gives me a hard look and reaches into his bag. He pulls out a key and hands it to me. "Take this key to Evelyn's representative. It unlocks garage 14539. Can you remember that?"**

**I nod. "14539," I repeat. **

**Lars picks up his bag and turns to leave. **

**"****I don't know what role you have with helping the factionless," I say. "But be careful."**

**Lars stops and turns back to face me. **

**"****If they catch you, well… you know what will happen." I say lamely. I want to offer him some advice, some sort of assurement, but nothing comes out. We just look at each other and then he turns and is gone. **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Lonely

I go back to the monitors and continue to watch them. The fixed monitor is bright and active again. I sigh in relief knowing that I got two jobs done in one night. Now all I have to do is wait here till Ram comes back in the morning. Tomorrow I am scheduled for gate duty at 7am, but I put in a call to Margery, telling her I am subbing for someone in the control room for initiate week, and she says she will find a replacement for the morning shift, but that I should report to the gate at 2.

I watch the initiates return to their dorms after the capture the flag game. The little Abnegation girl looks happy and triumphant, but its not long until they are all asleep. Maya and Rita head back to Maya's room together, where I am sure they will have a nice roll in the sack before passing out. Our rooms are all next to each other and Maya and Rita have been trying to hide their relationship from me for years. But I'm not blind or deaf, and I know they have been lovers since initiation. It's not that same sex relations are wrong among Dauntless, like they are in Abnegation. No, they just don't want me to be jealous of their relationship. Which makes me feel both happy and sad. There are times when I think they are close to inviting me into their love nest. I'm still not sure I would say no.

I watch Four travel from the dorms to the hallway that leads to the control room. I follow his trek on screen until he is standing in front of me.

"I didn't expect you to be here," he says pulling a chair over and settling into it. "I came to give Ram a break for a bit," he says.

"Well I beat you to it," I say. "He was pretty tired." I then give Four an update on the J cue and how an Erudite tech came to repair it. I don't mention that the tech was Lars.

"Nice," he says. "Thanks."

"So, your team won, huh? Congratulations," I say. He shrugs like its no big deal but I can see the smile creeping out the corning of his mouth. "Man I wish I could have seen Eric's face. The big goon! Man, I hate that guy," I say cringing.

Four nods, letting his smile loose at last, "It was pretty great."

We laugh together and fall into companionable silence. We watch the monitors for a while. I see Rita come out of Maya's room. They share a long, steamy kiss at the door and I sigh. Four follows my gaze and watches the show. He glances at me. "What, you didn't know?" he asks.

"No, I knew," I say. "It's just I'm a little jealous of them. They look like they have it figured out. I feel like I'm drowning."

"Ah," Four says. "Lars."

I don't know how he knows, but somehow Four always understood that the reason I put in for the transfer had something to do with Lars. Maybe it was something Lars said. Or maybe Four can just pick up on that sort of thing. But I've never had to lie to him about it.

"Yeah, he was here," I say. "It was...awkward."

Four nods. "Are you ever going to tell me what actually happened between the two of you, or do I have to keep guessing?"

"There's not much to tell, really," I say. "We had a thing. It got a little too serious and I ended it. I haven't seen him since. Well that is, until tonight." I duck my head and rest it on my knees, squeezing my eyes shut. I feel Four's hand rested on my back and I look up. He is looking at me strangely, as if he is considering something for the first time. I straighten up and we look at each other for a long moment. Suddenly he reaches out and pulls me to him. He kisses me, hard and urgent. And for just a moment I get lost in that kiss. We cling to each other, his hands gripping my back, moving up around my stomach to my breasts and then back down to my waist. I hold his face to me and press my body against him until I am practically on his lap. We break apart long enough to look around. The cubicle's private enough that no one has noticed yet, but we can't really get away with much more.

"Downstairs?" Four asks, his eyebrow raised. I take a moment to think. While I like Four a lot, I'd never really considered him any more than a friend. But he's good looking, and after seeing Lars tonight, my blood is burning.

"Yeah," I say, taking his hand. Once we get downstairs, I close the latch on the door only partly. That way no one will see in, but if anyone comes looking for us, they will know we are down in the basement working on something. It was an old trick I'd do with Lars. The thought of Lars threatens to overtake me, but I push it aside. I see Four standing there before me. His black t-shirt tight over his lean chest and arms. He wears a band on his forearm that holds a small knife he can flick out at a moment's notice. His jeans fit snug on his hips. How have I never realized how attractive he is?

I strip off my vest and kick off my shoes before going to him once more. I can tell he is eager and he tugs off his shirt revealing his bare chest, covered in tattoos and muscles. I begin kissing a trail down his chest to the belt of his jeans. He reaches down and pulls off my shirt. The bra I am wearing is transparent black silk, and I know my nipples are very visible. He paws at my chest, cupping and squeezing as if these are the first breasts he's ever felt. I've finally gotten his belt undone and I slowly open his jeans releasing his throbbing member. He lets out a deep moan as I take him in my mouth. I can feel myself getting wet, coming so aroused by his arousal. I stand up, so I can push him down on the floor. It's then that I realize this is actually happening. I haven't been with anyone else since the night I ended things with Lars. It feels good. It feels like closure.

Laying on his back on the floor, Four reaches around and tugs at my bra. He manages to undo the clasp, but he does so with such clumsy-ness that I again find myself thinking that perhaps he hasn't done this before. I look into his eyes and realize that he is utterly terrified. Perhaps this is the first time for him. Well, if that's the case, we need to talk about this. I lost my virginity long ago, but even then I had wanted it to be special. Sex on the cold basement floor of the control room isn't exactly romantic.

"Hey," I say softly. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

He looks at me like I am crazy. "Are you kidding?" He says.

"Is this your first time?" I ask, knowing that this question might very well kill the mood. Four's face hardens and he pulls me down on top of him. He kisses me hard, rolling me onto my back so he covers me with his body. His hands fumble with my jeans and he pulls them off, leaving me completely naked except for my soaking wet panties. He kneels before me and pulls the underwear off with his teeth. It's then that all thoughts of morality and romance flee from my mind. I can't think about anything but my body, and how good it feels to have Four's mouth slowly open on my sex. His tongue flicks about, if not expertly, then certainly enthusiastic. I feel myself building too quickly and I pull him up, rolling him over onto his back so I can mount him. His throbbing cock is still poking out of his pants and I yank the jeans off quickly. I go down on him once more with long, slow strokes. He grips my hair with one hand, pulling out the messy ponytail so hair falls around my shoulders.

I feel him about to reach the edge and pull up at the last minute. "Do you have a condom?" I ask.

It takes him a moment to realize what I am saying, but he nods yes and reaches for his jeans. I push him back down and stand up, giving him a show as I bend over to fish the condom out of his pants. It's old and morphed from being in his wallet for however long, but it still looks functional. Kneeling before him, I slide it over his cock, gently massaging as I go. He moans softly and pulls my face to his, pushing his tongue deep in my mouth. As we kiss I maneuver myself so his cock can enter me. I sink slowly over him and he lets out another low moan as I begin rocking my hips. I take his hand and press his thumb to my clit. He catches on quickly and I find myself nearing climax. Four is visibly sweating now, and the sight of him so aroused sends me over the edge. I throw my head back in ecstasy, the orgasm washing through me like a much needed drink of water. I feel Four tense as he follows suit, his fingers gripping the flesh on my waist and ribs.

I collapse on top of him and we sit there for a few moments, not moving. My body feels good and warm against him as I slowly move so he slips out of me. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me to him. I lay my face against his chest, breathing deeply.

"Well," I say. "That was fun." Four just chuckles. He sits up and pulls the condom off, tying it at the top and tossing it in a nearby trash can. I'm tempted to ask if that was his first time again, but I let it go. It doesn't matter.


End file.
